All of Me
by Found Wanderer
Summary: What happens to Greg after the season finale? songfic. sandle.
1. Chapter 1

**All of Me  
**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI and did not write the song "My Immortal" by Evanescence, no matter how much I wish I did.

**Chapter 1**

_I'm so tired of being here,_

"Have you discussed this with Grissom yet?"

The light in Greg's eyes changed, at the mention of his name. Just because he wasn't a full-time CSI anymore, didn't mean Ecklie wasn't observant.

"No. I wanted to see if it was a possibility before I brought it up. I figured it would be quicker just to ask you," he replied, his voice in an uncharacteristic monotone. "I don't care about better hours, I just want different ones," he added.

"Why?" Ecklie asked, genuinely curious.

_Suppressed by all my childish fears._

Greg sighed. There was no way he was going to tell Ecklie the real reason he couldn't work this shift anymore. He decided on a simpler, blander version; the truth, but not all of it.

"I just can't concentrate in this…" he struggled for a word, "…environment."

"You want to be more specific about that?" Ecklie pushed, slightly annoyed.

"I can't work efficiently with certain colleagues. And I don't want to mention names," Greg stated hurriedly, as though afraid Ecklie would object to his answer.

Ecklie, with an idea of his own that he didn't wish to voice aloud, questioned him no further.

"I'll look into Sanders, but I can't make promises, and I won't pull strings," he told him with a tone of finality, as his eyes returned to the papers on his desk.

Greg took this as a dismissal, and stood up to leave. "Thanks," he said before walking out the door.

_And if you have to leave, _

_I wish that you would just leave_

'_Cause your presence still lingers here,_

_And it won't leave me alone._

As he walked down the hallway he saw her coming in his direction. Panicking, he looked around for a room he could jump into quickly, without her seeing him. Too late.

"Hey Greg," she greeted him kindly with her classic gap-toothed grin.

"Hi," he said, avoiding her eyes as he kept walking.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time can not erase_

Sara stopped in the middle of the hallway and watched his receding back. There was something wrong with his voice. It had been that way for over a week now, and she couldn't figure out just what was behind it. It wasn't the expressive, light-hearted, bouncy tone she was used to hearing. Instead it was hollow and so ambiguous it made her worry. She got the feeling that it was somehow tied to her.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

Greg sat on the bench in the locker room, in front of his open locker. Memories flooded through his mind, all consisting of her. Memories he had tried to shove out of his head. He had done such a good job of avoiding her lately too.

_But you still have all of me._

As he went to shut his locker he noticed an old picture stuck to the back wall, where no one but him could see it. It was of them together, taken way back at the relay race they had ran so long ago. His arm was around her shoulder, and they were both laughing at something out of view. He pulled it off the wall and held it in his hand, remembering how he had cherished it, like a high-school boy with a crush. He crumpled it up and threw it at the trashcan, not noticing that he missed as he walked out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sara walked into the room and made her way over to Catherine, who was sitting in front of the computer as she looked through some video footage of a crime scene. Catherine looked up as Sara sat next to her.

"Hey, what brings you here?" she asked with a friendly smile. However her expression changed into a studious gaze as she looked at Sara's contemplative state.

"Something on your mind?" she asked.

"Where's Greg?" Sara asked her, suddenly awaking from her previous trance.

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light._

"I thought I saw him around here somewhere earlier," Catherine replied.

"No, I mean, where is the Greg Sanders that we used to know? The one that used to dance in headdresses and crack lame jokes just to make me laugh. It's like he was replaced by this…this…ghost."

Sara looked at Catherine, suddenly surprised at what reflected in the older woman's eyes. It was pity.

"I would have thought you had already figured this out," Catherine said.

"Figured what out?"

"Everyone knows that there's something going on between you and Grissom," she stated rather bluntly, causing Sara to blush but continue to listen. "It took awhile for people to realize it, but its pretty much sunk in by now."

Catherine paused, still amazed that she had to explain this. "One of the last people to realize it was Greg, probably because he didn't want to believe it. I don't think he can bring himself to deny it any longer."

_But, now I'm bound by the life you left behind._

Realization began to dawn on Sara's face: a guilty realization. She sighed, "I didn't mean to."

"Break his heart?" Catherine asked.

Sara nodded sadly.

Catherine placed a hand on her shoulder, as she stood up. "He knows you never do."

At the door she turned around and added, "But I don't think it makes it hurt any less."

_Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams._

Sara walked down the halls in a stupor, until she saw him sitting in the break room. He looked like he was seriously considering drowning himself in the cup of coffee he held between his hands.

She leaned on the doorway watching him, until she got up to nerve to ask, "Greg, can we talk?"

He sighed, his shoulders heavy. She could tell he wished she wasn't there.

"Sure," he replied anyway.

_Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me. _

There it was again. That haunted and empty voice that scared her shitless.

She walked over and sat in the chair next him, studying his eyes. He wouldn't make eye contact with her, and she couldn't blame him.

_These wounds won't seem to heal._

_This pain is just too real._

_There's just too much that time cannot erase._

She felt a nagging sensation in her heart as she lost herself in the sadness contained in his eyes. Still, she had to start the conversation, and there seemed no easy way to do it.

"Its funny. Everyone must have thought I was stupid, waiting around to be noticed. I know I did," she said, somehow knowing that he understood her.

"I didn't," he said, finally turning to look her in the eyes. "Hell, I've loved the same woman for six years, and even thought it's pretty obvious she doesn't care about me, I still can't stop thinking about her."

He said all of this without once breaking his gaze. In his eyes there were no tears, just unfathomable pain. And this tore her apart.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. _

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears._

_And I've held you hand through all of these years,_

Sara sat on the bench of the locker room, staring unfocused at a spot on the wall. Then she noticed the small piece of crumpled up paper on the floor by the trashcan. She walked over and picked it up. As she unfolded it, her breath was caught in her chest. She couldn't take it anymore. She hadn't meant to hurt him, and the guilt was eating her up inside. She leaned her head on the cool metal of the locker door.

_But you still have all of me._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Work for Sara Sidle had become just that: work. She dreaded going. She rarely laughed or enjoyed herself while on the job. It was as if she had lost her passion.

It had been a week since Greg had stopped working the same shift.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. _

She idly poked the uneaten food on her plate with a fork. Being with the rest of the CSI's only made it more evident who was missing. She couldn't stop his words from echoing in her head: "I've loved the same woman for six years." He had said the word "loved" so sincerely, without flinching.

_But though you're still with me,_

She glanced over at the man sitting across the table. He, who had finally noticed her, finally admitted his feelings for her. She was at last in a relationship with the man that she had been infatuated with for years. But could she honestly say that she loved Grissom?

_I've been alone all along._

On one of her rare days off, she ironically stood outside of the lab, waiting.

Greg saw her as he walked out the doors of the building at the end of his shift. He immediately wondered where his stomach had wandered off to. He stood with baited breath as she approached him, but before he could even open his mouth to say something, she had thrown her arms around his neck.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears._

"I'm so sorry," she whispered near his ear with a sniff.

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears. _

"Its okay," he told her calmly, holding her closer to him.

_And I've held your hand through all of these years,_

She lifted her head up and they stood for what seemed like ages, each gazing into the other's eyes.

_But you still have…_

Finally, she leaned in, and softly pressed her lips to his. After a moment of initial shock, he deepened the kiss, the seconds passing by like lifetimes.

…_all of me._

_Fin_


End file.
